


Deceive Me, Hurt Me, Fight Me (Please don't Leave Me)

by Night_Time_Daydreams



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Needs a Hug, Hurt Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Hypnotism, It gets rlly dark, Manipulative Deceit Sanders, Mind Control, Swearing, Unsympathetic Deceit Sanders, Villain Deceit Sanders, but it gets fixed I promise, holy shit he needs a hug, virgil kinda goes dark again be warned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-02-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:21:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22747747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Night_Time_Daydreams/pseuds/Night_Time_Daydreams
Summary: When Virgil heard Patton calling him down to their ritual family-movie-night, he didn't think anything of it. He assumed that he'd slept a bit longer than he'd meant to. That it really was time for their movie.That it was really Patton who was calling him.He never expected the amount of pain that would follow.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil & Creativity | Roman & Logic | Logan & Morality | Patton & Thomas Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 34
Kudos: 196





	1. Deceived

**Author's Note:**

> Apologies in advance...this gets pretty dark pretty quick, but I promise it gets better...later....

"Come on down, Virge! Roman picked Frozen and you know how impatient he can be!" 

Virgil didn't even think twice about laying down his phone and pulling his hoodie on, hurrying down the hallway. Patton had called him, mentioning "Roman" and "Frozen" in the same sentence. That could only mean movie night was starting, and Virgil really didn't want to miss that. 

He didn't want to miss the inevitable drama either, but that was another matter. 

Virgil continued, sliding his hand along the bannister on his way down the stairs. It was only when he finally made his way into the living room and saw absolutely no one that he got suspicious. 

No Roman on the couch impatiently waiting for the others to get settled, all with the remote in his hand. No Patton and Logan in the kitchen, lightly debating the best way to make popcorn. No Thomas laughing at them all. 

Virgil opened his mouth to call out for Patton when he caught sight of a flash of yellow out of the corner of his eye. He whipped around to find himself face-to-face with Deceit, who was smiling. Virgil was immediately unnerved -- whenever Deceit found something to smile about, it usually didn't mean anything good -- for anyone. 

"Now, now, my dear Virgil," Deceit cooed, grabbing Virgil by the collar and twisting roughly. "How lovely it is to see you…." 

Virgil hissed, scrambling to break Deceit's iron grip, "The Hell do you want, you bitchy snake? Let go of me!"

Deceit's grip tightened a fraction, "Oh, I totally would, Virgil, but that seems like it would be no fun at all! No, I totally won't let you go. Later, perhaps, but first…" Deceit pulled a small, oddly lumpy bag out of an unseen pocket, "You're going to do something for me. Consider this a repayment of your debt, Virgil. You're going to hurt them just as much as you hurt us." 

With that, Deceit shoved the bag in the pocket of Virgil's hoodie and started mumbling. To Virgil, it sounded like Spanish or Latin (neither of which he could understand, of course). Deceit's chanting rose slightly in volume as Virgil's world seemed to spin. Just before the gathering darkness consumed Virgil, he saw Deceit smile one last time, "Sweet dreams, Virgil." 

And everything went dark. 

———______———______———

Patton glanced at the clock and saw that it was about ten minutes before their movie night would start. He smiled and happily made his way towards his door to start gathering the others. He always loved family movie night. Everyone would sit close together and just enjoy each other’s company. It was always nice to just be able to unwind with his fam-ILY. 

He headed to Virgil’s room first. “It’s time for movie night, Virgil! Let’s go get the others so we can head downstairs!” He called, knocking on the door. He waited a moment before knocking again and slowly opening the door. “Virgil? Kiddo? You here?” 

He was not. 

He must have already gone downstairs. Slightly unusual, but not altogether unheard of. So Patton moved on.

He collected Roman from his script-writing, Logan from his scientific reading, and Thomas from his video editing before they all trooped downstairs, wondering what movie they’d watch that night. 

Roman, in the front of their little pack, stopped suddenly when he reached the bottom of the stairs. The others peered around him to see a vaguely troubling sight. 

Virgil was standing in the middle of their living room, facing away from the stairs, perfectly still. The others took note of how Virgil seemed to be more like a lifeless puppet than the (admittedly rather reserved) man that they knew and loved. Virgil seemed boneless, feet supporting him, but only barely. His head was hanging limply and he was facing away from the four on the stairs. 

Roman glanced back at the others before speaking cautiously. “Virgil?” He asked, stepping down onto the floor. “Are…are you alright?” 

Virgil straightened and turned around. 

Patton stifled a scream. Roman summoned his sword. Logan and Thomas simply gaped. 

Virgil smiled, blinking his eerily glowing yellow eyes. “Hey, guys. What’s wrong? You look like you’ve seen a ghost!”


	2. Fought

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did say "next week", and Tuesday technically does count...
> 
> Also, did someone order a heaping pile of angst? No? Well, whatever, you can just have it.

It was nearly impossible for any of the others to speak, they were so shocked. Roman was the one to finally unstick his jaw, “Virgil…great fairy-godmother above, I can’t believe it…”

“Is it my eyes? It’s the eyes, isn’t it? Yeah, I knew they’d set you off but, God, I can’t exactly turn them off, ya know?” Virgil was speaking loudly, much louder than he normally would. "You know," he said, laughing slightly at the looks on the faces of the others. "I expected you all to be surprised, but I didn't quite expect it to this level. Did you all seriously believe that I was going to stay with you forever? That I was seriously going to be good and nice and all things light forever? Really? I mean, seriously, you really wanted to delude yourselves that much?" Virgil was clearly growing angrier by the second, fists clenching and brows furrowing. He barked out a laugh, "You all are pathetic." 

At this point, Patton was crying, Thomas consoling him. 

Virgil paid no heed to the state of his friends, "If you really cared about anyone but yourselves, you’d actually have seen how much I was suffering and fucking done something about it! You wouldn’t have stood by and done nothing! You wouldn’t have pretended! You wouldn’t have told me to pretend!"

Logan was confused, but also surprisingly hurt. He knew that this couldn’t really be Virgil, right?

"I hate you all!" 

Roman was just emotional. He was angry, sad, confused, and worried all at once. He shifted slightly, lifting his sword higher and finally speaking, “Virgil, this isn’t you. Snap out of it!” Roman’s voice shook more than he cared to admit. “I don’t know what Deceit has done to you, but—“ 

Virgil cut Roman off, “There you go again, Roman! Blaming someone other than yourself!” Virgil was punctuating his words with wild gestures. “Oh, but go ahead, pretend to not see all of your flaws! I don’t see why you bother though, everyone knows you’re just a sad little boy, afraid of the shadows crawling on your back.” Virgil’s grin was wide and slightly unhinged. “Am I right?” 

Roman could feel the tears running down his cheeks at this point, but he refused to back down. “Virgil, I don’t know what’s happened, but I swear that we will find a way to fix this.” 

Virgil’s laugh bordered on manic. “Oh, Roman, so heroic! But this little damsel doesn’t need saving." Virgil paused for a moment, "I don’t need your pity anymore. I don't need you to laugh at me to feel something other than apathy. I don't need to be the bad guy for you to pay attention to me…" 

There was another beat of silence. 

"Deceit fixed me." Virgil's voice was startling in the quiet. He glanced from face to face, person to person, "I'm not afraid, not anymore. I can look you in the eyes. I can talk without stumbling over my words like they're physical. I can act like a normal fucking person now." 

Virgil seemed to shrink in on himself, becoming small. 

"Deceit fixed me." Virgil repeated, "He could fix you, too! If-If you just asked him, then--Logan, wouldn’t it be nice to always feel like you belonged? Patton, you wouldn’t have to hide your sadness because you wouldn’t have any to hide! Roman, all those little insecurities could vanish in an instant!” Virgil's eyes were glowing so that they cast shadows across the rest of his face. His smile was almost manic, but the others could see tears gathering in his eyes. 

Roman was the first to respond to Virgil’s plea, “Virgil…we aren’t broken. We don’t need fixing.” Roman could see Virgil’s features beginning to droop, but forged on nonetheless. ”You don’t need fixing either! We think you’re perfect just the way you are! All your flaws just make you real. Maybe you’re not perfect, but at least you’re real. At least we are real.” 

The others made noises of agreement. 

Virgil’s face suddenly twisted as he growled, an animalistic sound that the others had never heard from the Side before. Again, his eyes glowed. “You want to be broken? You want to stay scared and weak? Fine!” 

Virgil summoned his weapon, a large medieval-style scythe, totally black except for a faint purple tinge on the shaft. 

“Have it your way!”

He leapt forward, moving with catlike grace which the others had rarely seen from him, so unlike his movements leading up to that point. 

“I’ll even break you myself!” 

Roman didn't have any time to move, and even if he had, Virgil would hit one of the others. Logan, Patton, or Thomas could be hurt.  
  
So Roman didn't move. He simply continued to watch as Virgil came closer.  
  
Time seemed to slow. All Roman could think was that he had failed Virgil, that he should have been a better friend. Roman's arm relaxed and he dropped his sword to the ground. He vaguely heard the others shouting at him, but he couldn't care less.   
  
Roman idly wondered if he should close his eyes. Did he want to face his end head on or would he rather hide from it? 

So instead, he locked eyes with Virgil, and he smiled. Virgil’s eyes widened…and dimmed slightly. He stumbled and fell to the wooden floor with a harsh thud. 

Roman made to step forward, but was grabbed from behind by Thomas. “Roman,” the man said, keeping a firm grip on his friend, "I know, I want to help him too, but…that's not Virgil right now…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sung to the tune of Six: The Musical's "Don't Lose Your Head"*
> 
> Sorry not sorry bout what I wrote, I'm just tryin to have some /fun/


	3. Hurt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Btw, when I said it would get better later...this isn't the later that I meant

Virgil pushed himself to his knees, limbs trembling heavily. The others could hear him muttering cusses and foul language under his breath, but for once, Patton didn't have the heart to interrupt. 

Finally, Virgil forced himself to his knees, yellow magic rippling over his body. He let out a trembling laugh, “Guess I really am useless, huh? I can’t do one single thing right! God!” He tangled his hands in his hair and yanked, hard. Purple-tipped strands were pulled from the messy head as Virgil switched to scratching harshly at his arms. 

The whole time, Virgil didn't stop smiling. 

Even as he started crying, yellow tears gathering and streaking down his face and neck, he never stopped smiling. 

Patton could take no more. He started sobbing in earnest, clinging to Logan's arm. 

The sudden sound attracted Virgil's attention. He stared up at Patton, barely pausing in his scratching, blood starting to gather on his arms. The yellow of his eyes was still bright. "Great! Just great!" He said hysterically, "Now I made one of my friends cry! That's just fantastic! Guess I'm good for one thing after all! I just mess everything up!" 

Patton managed to call out to Virgil through his sobs, "N-No! Vir-Virgil, you ca-an't--y-you aren't a waste of spa-space! P-Please don't bel-believe that!" 

Virgil's eyes dimmed as he stilled. "You can't really believe that! You can't. You may be naïve, but I didn't think you were that stupid, Patton." 

Patton sobbed again, pressing a trembling hand against his mouth. Logan moved to carefully and awkwardly (though still caringly) wrap his arms around Patton and press him to his chest. Logan's eyes were filled with unshed tears and he had tear-tracks staining his cheeks. "Virgil…Patton is correct. You are not a failure. You are not broken. You are most definitely deserving of our friendship…and our love. You are a part of our family, Virgil. Nothing--not Deceit, not me, not even you--could ever change that." 

Thomas was next to speak, less eloquent than Logan, but more composed than Patton, "I-I don't know what to say Virgil. You are so incredible, and it hurts to know that you can't see that…we'll just have to see it for you, I guess." 

Roman could tell Virgil's gaze had shifted to him, so he wormed his way out of Thomas' grip and took a step forward. "They're right, Virgil…you're not broken…you're human. Isn't that an incredible thing to be?" 

Virgil's expression shifted into one of shock before the glow fully faded from his eyes. His now brown eyes darted around the room, shock evident in his expression. "You…you guys really…you really believe that?" 

Various affirmations echoed around the room.

Virgil smiled.

There was finally a moment of peace, of hope that things would really turn out okay. 

Suddenly, more yellow magic appeared, bursting into being from the pocket of Virgil's hoodie. It separated itself into tendrils, wrapping itself around Virgil's torso, some splitting away to probe at the air around him.

Screams filled the air. Patton's shrieks mingled with the lower shouts of the others as the yellow tendrils wrapped around Virgil seemed to flare and grow. They shifted, some tightening around Virgil's body while others snaked around his wrists, ankles, and neck. 

Virgil coughed, choking due to the sudden pressure. The yellow magic forced Virgil to stand. 

Roman's reaction was nearly physical, and he could tell the others felt the same way. 

It was bad enough seeing Virgil--their Virgil--so broken and angry. So filled with rage that was a cross between his own and Deceit's. And yet, somehow, it hurt even more to see him so obviously strung up as one of Deceit's puppets, jerkily crossing the remainder of the room, fear so evident on his ever-pale face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *cue evil laughter*


	4. Controlled

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone enjoys this! It's been one hell of a ride, but it ain't over yet...

Logan shoved Thomas and Patton behind him, slowly moving them up the stairs as Roman stood once again trying to protect them. "Virgil, do you have any idea how to stop this?" Roman said, speaking louder than he meant to in his panic. 

Virgil's eyes widened as he choked out his answer, "Hoodie…pocket!" 

Roman's eyes flicked to Virgil's pocket, the source of the magic controlling him. He would only have a moment of opportunity, but it would be all he needed. 

Roman locked eyes with Virgil. "You are going to be fine, Virgil. I promise you, you're going to be okay." 

Virgil smiled shakily, "Believe…you…." Virgil was almost within reach now, so Roman acted. 

Roman lunged forward, thankful for all the sword-fighting practices he'd forced himself through. He forced his hands through the yellow magic, reaching for Virgil's pockets. 

All of a sudden, Roman found himself unable to breathe. He realized Virgil's hands were wrapped around his throat and was squeezing as hard as possible. He could hear Virgil's choked sobs and half-recognizable apologies. Roman's gut instinct was to pull away, to try and break free of Virgil's hold, but he forced himself to search Virgil's pockets. He grabbed hold of the odd bag and wrenched it out of Virgil's pocket, throwing it as far away as he could manage in his present situation. 

Immediately, the yellow faded and Virgil's hands were snatched away from Roman's throat. 

Roman immediately began coughing, sinking down onto the floor as he attempted to catch his breath. 

Slowly, almost painfully, he became aware of some of the others around him. Virgil was curled into a ball ten feet away, Patton sitting about a foot away and talking softly. Thomas was standing near to Roman, looking back and forth between him and Virgil, as if wondering who to help first. Logan was kneeling next to Roman, worry evident in his features. Roman allowed Logan to examine him, wincing slightly as he poked and prodded at his still-sore throat. 

Logan spoke, voice shaking slightly, "Thomas, why don't you go get some blankets from the hall closet? I believe that there are some rather comfortable ones there that might be beneficial at the moment." 

Thomas nodded, grateful to have something productive to do. As Thomas turned to the hall, Roman's attention was once again captured by Logan. "You have classic signs of strangulation: petechiae, bloodshot eyes, slight bruising behind the ears…" Logan trailed off, staring into space. Roman turned to look at Logan--really look at him--and noticed something that slightly alarmed him. 

Logan was crying again. 

Before Roman could make any move, Logan spoke again, "You're absolutely fine, Roman, you will heal completely, but…I was so worried, Roman…you don't even know…I pride myself on my ability to keep a level head, you know that…. But when you shoved us back…when you went to face Deceit's magic alone…I didn't even realize there was an outcome where you came out this unharmed…." Logan angrily swiped at his eyes, near to glaring at Roman. "Swear to me, Roman. Swear to me on your life, on your sword, on your honor--on whatever it is that you value most in this world that you will never try to take on something like that without us ever again. Swear it to me, Roman." 

Roman softened and he reached out a hand to grasp at Logan's. "I swear it on Thomas' life, on Patton's life, on Virgil's life…on your life, Logan, that I will never do something like that ever again." Logan squeezed his eyes shut and nodded, lips pressed into a firm line. Slowly, Roman leaned forward until their foreheads touched and their breaths mingled. "I swear I will never leave you behind ever again, Logan." 

They stayed in this way for a few seconds, maybe less, but it felt like much, much longer. 

The moment, however, was shattered when they heard Virgil beginning to scream. "Pa-Patton? Is-no. No! Get away! No, no, no, no! No! Patton! Get away from me!" Interspersed between the interpretable parts were loud, wordless screams. Virgil's Tempest Tongue had also made an appearance, distorting his words more and more as he became more panicked. 

If this continued, Roman realized, Virgil would work himself into a panic attack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does that count as everything getting "better"? Idk, but there's only one chapter left...


	5. Found

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- - -PLEASE READ- - -
> 
> Whelp, this is it guys. The last chapter. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who left comments, kudos, or is even simply reading the story. You guys are the reason why I posted this to begin with. 
> 
> There IS a sequel in the works, but I make absolutely zero promises as to when it’ll be posted. 
> 
> Thank you again!

Patton was kneeling by Virgil's side, tears streaming down his own face. 

“I-I almost killed Roman!” Virgil was screaming. Why was he /screaming/. “I can’t — I don’t — I’m a monster!” 

Thomas raced back into the room, a black weighted blanket filling his arms.

Roman shoved his way to his feet and—almost falling flat on his face—made his way to Virgil’s side. He hovered across from Patton, just above Virgil. Roman squeezed his hands to hide his shaking. 

“Virgil,” he said softly. 

Virgil flinched and tried to curl into himself even further, “No! Roman, I’ll hurt you again!” Virgil’s voice began to echo and warp. “Get away from me!” 

Roman eyes turned steely, “Virgil, listen to me. That was not you. That was not your fault. I swear to whatever god that may be listening that no one blames you—because there is no reason for you to be to blame.” 

Virgil lifted his head slightly, staring at Roman’s shoes but still refusing to look him in the eyes. Roman took it as a sign to continue. 

“You almost broke free of that snake’s spell, Virgil. You did break it. If not for his hex-bag in your pocket, you would’ve been the one to finish this adventure once and for all. Virgil, you did good.” 

Virgil squeezed his eyes shut and began breathing heavily. Roman hesitantly spoke, “Virgil, breathe for me. In for four…hold seven…out eight.” 

Virgil struggled to follow Roman’s directions. “It’s okay, you’re doing great Virgil. In four, hold seven, out eight.” 

After a minute or two of doing the very breathing exercises he had taught them to begin with, Virgil had calmed enough to unfold himself slightly. He sat staring at his hands, clenching and slowly unclenching them, over and over again and again. 

Roman slowly lowered himself to a tense sitting position, less than an inch from Virgil. He slowly reached out a hand, "Virgil," he spoke slowly, "I'm going to touch you, okay?" He waited for Virgil's small, barely noticeable nod before finally laying his hand on the other's thin shoulder. 

Slowly, carefully, Roman began to rub Virgil's shoulder with his thumb, never pressing too hard. He carefully watched Virgil's face. As such, Roman was able to open his arms wide enough quickly enough for Virgil to throw himself into them. 

Roman carefully carded a hand through Virgil's hair as sob after sob echoed out of the thin man's frame. Roman ignored the heartbroken expressions on the others' faces for the time being and focused on trying to comfort Virgil. Roman rocked from side to side, humming a low song. 

"I-I'm so, so, so," Virgil's words were almost incomprehensible, "so, sorry! I didn't me-mean to! Plea-Please do-don't--I didn't me-mean to!" As Virgil broke down, Roman's own heart broke for the man. 

"No, Virgil," He murmured, pressing his lips to Virgil's temple. "You have nothing to be sorry for…absolutely nothing…."

Virgil sobbed harder into Roman's crumpled sash. 

Patton, tears streaming down his cheeks, spoke as well, "Virgil? Can I hug you too?" 

Virgil blindly flung an arm back behind him, grasping for Patton without leaving the safety of Roman's arms. Patton immediately wrapped his arms as far around the other two as he possibly could. 

Logan and Thomas quickly repeated Patton's process and joined the group hug as well. 

The five of them sat for longer than any of them cared to keep track of. 

Virgil's breathing finally evened out. 

"I'm…I'm okay now." He muttered rubbing at his tired eyes with the sleeves of his hoodie. He glanced around at the faces of the others. Each was tear-streaked and variously snotty. 

He snorted out a laugh, “God, we look like messes…”

This set the others off in a whole chain reaction of slightly-hysterical laughter. 

Virgil looked around at his happy and laughing family, finally able to relax and simply be. 

They didn’t know why Deceit had suddenly decided to attack. They didn’t know whether he would attempt to do so in the future. They didn't know what was going to happen, but they knew that they'd find their way through it. 

Together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank you everyone for reading my story! I really hope that you liked it! 
> 
> —Charlie


End file.
